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the island of conclusions

H50 1.21

the island of conclusions

bright star

H50 1.21

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Okay, since others seem to have amply covered the awesomeness of wet!Steve and tree-climbing!Kono and book-listing!Danny, let’s take up another aspect of this episode, shall we?

[Scene: Steve’s darkened bedroom]

Voice: Steven.

Steve [opening his eyes and fumbling for his bedside gun]: Wha’? Who’s there?

Voice: Steven. Steven James McGarrett. Awake.

Steve: [flicking on the light and sweeping the gun across the empty bedroom]: Listen, mister, I don’t care what kind of disembodied voice thing you have going on, but you should know I answer to nobody but the governor and—oh wait.

Voice: Yes. I am that I am. Adonai. Yaweh. The omnipotent and omnipresent.

Steve [lowering the gun and looking a little wide-eyed]: Oh.

Voice: Steven, I do not usually make personal visits like this, but prayers have reached us in Heaven. Heartfelt prayers. Frequent prayers. Prayers that have caused some of my seraphs to start wearing noise-canceling headphones.

Steve [suddenly realizing what this is all about]: Okay. Look, I get it. I know there’s some stuff that really pushes Danny’s buttons. But he’s gotta know that I would never get him hurt. Not intentionally, anyway. It’s just that I--

[A small gust of wind ruffles the curtains. It might be interpreted as a divine sigh.]

Voice: Yes. As one of my prophets once said, a leopard cannot change its spots. All we ask is that you—how shall I put it?—ratchet it down a notch. Just enough that my angels can go back to concentrating on other things. Global warming, say, or unrest in the Middle East. Lost puppies. Are we clear?

Steve [ever so slightly chagrined]: We’re clear.

Voice: Don’t make me come down here again, Steven.

Steve: Sir, no sir.

There is a whoosh of air.

Steve: Sir? Sir? Hold up a minute, would you? There’s something I need your help with—there’re these letters, coming under my door—Sir? Sir?


  • LOL! Awesome.
    • Such are the teachings of the Church of SEAL :) He'd send Chin after God with a baseball bat if he could--
    • Hey, give him a break. Sometimes Steve just gets so preoccupied with ramming through the gates of the high-security compounds of crime lords that he forgets about the lost puppies. He just needed a gentle reminder. He likes puppies, really.

      (I'm doing Steve an injustice here, I know--he was so lovely with the kid in this episode I almost cried)
  • Oh, perfect! :) Seraphs wearing noise-cancelling headphones because of Danny :)
    • *g* It was the combination of Steve saying he answered only to the Governor and God and Danny saying he prayed every time Steve put both hands on the steering wheel--I couldn't resist!
  • I was giggling from Adonai, but when I got to "Don’t make me come down here again, Steven." I just completely lost it.

    I scared the dog.

    The one out in the goat pasture.

    This was made of win. Thank you, I needed that. :-D
    • You're very welcome! I'm glad it made you laugh--though I'm sorry about the dog. Steve was just tempting fate with that line, I think ;)
      • Eh, Code-man (the dog) will live. lol If you ever watched the old show 'Step By Step', knowing that's why his name is Cody tells you everything you need to know about the dog's personality. He's a huge clumsy, kind of dumb Lab with a heart of gold. He was a rescue that some ass starved and then dumped when he was about eight months old, and he had a name within an hour of me finding him because he's such a big dumb (though adorably sweet!) lug. Forty pounds of bones has turned into over a hundred pounds of pure muscle and heart in the last year, but he's still very much a Code-man. :-)

        But anyway, yes! Back to the subject! Steve was totally tempting fate with that line. I was hoping that someone would go there, with God taking Steve to task for something since the Governor never bothers to, and just, yeah. You did a fantastic job of it. Just thinking about it makes me giggle. :-D
  • LOL idk y this never occurred to me before but I'm glad it came to u.
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